To dare, to dream, to win: March 2006

someone help me!!

i really need to change my studying habit..suddenly feel drained and tired..

i must last till monday!

shd i go for ndp 1st training tmr? hmmm

hmm not a totally productive day, well at least not at nite.. at least start to make out some light out of things.. at nite tried to find more light but hmm, i find more blank.. maybe got time, tackle it tmr..

ok i shall complain how stupid it's to go sch today for a pathetic 30 min n spending $1.26 on bus trip n of cos another 2 hrs.. i shd have been more confident of myself that i did heard the lecturer say " this thurs there is cfm no tutorial", but obviously i tried to be more cautious, go check the timetable which say otherwise. but i think almost nobody heard wat the lecturer say. . so go sch, end up watching 30 min of video (on tape).. wat era isit still use vcr.. hmm. and it's a miracle if the video can rub more than 1 min before there is some disturbance..

came home n realise that 3121 webcast only has 23 min.. obviously the cameraman ran out of film .so much for a world-class instutition...

hmmm. zh say i keep stressing myself.. am i? but can't blame, when throughout the nite, nobody's online cos all are mugging u will get stressed wat?? somemore i do things slowly.. 1 day can finish 3121 6 chapters? i shall see

time to slp. but b4 that a guidance.. long time since i last put one.. ok too lazy to bring the book over though sometimes the guidance is meaningful...

"Nichiren Daishonin states: "Only by defeating a powerful enemy can one prove one's real strength." This is a truth that applies to all spheres of life. Youth must never be cowards nor weak-spirited individuals who are constantly defeated. I would like you to become ever-victorious champions who win one decisive victory after another in all the various "battlefields" of life and society. Winning in life is the purpose of faith; it is also a testimony of the power of faith" -- Daisaku Ikeda

hmm

listened to the repeat of yin yue ri ji this morning.. hmm a "good" story at the end though the ending isnt that nice..that guy..oh well..

but the 1st part was nice.. hehe cos some part have nice significance..oink

hmmm..

not in e correct state of mind.. maybe i need a run.. or really, maybe a game of dota.. but i really shdn't be playing..

我只是想要...

你快乐。。

加油。。

arrgh anyway i just woke up.. yeah wat a timing ah.. well, i shdn't even be slping at such a wierd time.. but i nv have a nap just now n i slpt only 5+ hr yday. and i feel strange now.. so i suppose i will get more slp..

i must say i will miss xy's company at nite this sem. cos there will be nobody to talk to me when i mug at the unearthly time.. hehe

am i asking for too much?

maybe i m

hmm..

feeling better... some chatting with sk n xy (thx ah :) ) and some relacing.. but i think ur sms make me feel better.. but, is i sms u 1st. .but then i shouldn't even bother u with ur recuperating..rest well

tmr lab.. yucks.. dunno wat will happen during viva.. pls pls.. next week...!!

i am down...

but i not out..

i need a break, i need a respite...

i need my dota.. but my desktop's down...

i need.. but ....

but i still got sth to depend on...

i will pick myself up, even when it means doing it alone

a meaningful story..

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfec t for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back,you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house"

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them

hai..

looks like i m left with no choice...

hmm.

ignore the previous post.. finally i believe i can set my heart at ease. hopefully everything will be back to normal soon.. things will

an undescribable feeling

i suppose only i know e feeling

haiz..

how sad.. no fate? hmm

hmmm

just now mcvin asked if he could use a quote from here as his nick.. didn't know its so meaningful till he put it and i can't resist n use it myself.. haha.. ok he made some changes to the nick..

"to be able to wake up healthy every day is already a joy in itself.. before we start begrudging ur life, be happy we are alive"

just now talk to some ppl .. realise i am too slack.. ya.. i made a fatal mistake which i shdnt.. e effect of that error is not yet felt and hopefully it wun. but no matter wat.. i know.. it's still not too late.. anyway spend too much time on some unnecessary things.. must change! just do it!~

hmm..

just now jason call me to 问候 me.. the 1st thing he asked is.. u ok? u sound sian.. wow.. he's gd.. hmmm bothered by things.. must buck up..

just now my hp vibrated. i thought it was a sms.. or so i hope. but it was a reminder. "lab coat!".. every sun at 1110pm..

11 hr 41 mins..

tt's how long i waited.. at least i get wat i wish to know..

went for discussion meeting yday...

adenline, my chapter leader, asked " anyone has any testimonial to share?".. of which she added shortly.. actually all of you who come to the meeting today is already a gd fortune by itself..

how true..i mean, able to be healthy every day is already a joy in itself.. seriously b4 any of u start begrudging ur life, be happy u are alive..

i must accumulate more gd fortune and pray for gd health for u n myself

hmm..

didnt have a gd slp last nite. some lame dreams but i remember a gd one .. but then it's just a dream..

ya i sorta got wat i wan, but that one didn't say much... when will e next one be..

now i believe..

i reall did misread that sms...

and i believe u are alright....

and that i will see sth that i was longing to see when i wake up..

when u put "sorry to make u worry" i wasn't but after that i was worrying .. worrying sick..

it's has been more than 2 hrs.. was listening to <<只对你说>> . there is this word in e song, the word i wan to tell u now

oink

happy day today. =) eh seldom or nv did i ever put my day as happy.. 1st time. hehe

ok except for the pain, which is gone now, not ur fault though hehe

so long nv play with swing liao. 1st time in 1+ decade? lol so fun..e walking so fun too and of course the poking.. tu tu .. lala.

but for now time to concentrate.. cya soon.. very soon

time to slp...

yup.. wanted to finish listening to my bedtime movie but hmm shd slp early... krishna back to his mumbling ways.. lucky there is no buffering else i sure die..

hmm. shd i go to sch tmr (actually i mean later)? maybe self study better.. need to catch up 1st ba...

today will be a nice day!! =)

hmmm.

sometimes it's abt making a choice, though i wasnt really keen on going in e 1st place, hmm

ok..

today heard of sth.. hmm.. no comments.. wat a subjective word it is

haiz..

tired.. didn't have a gd rest yday.. things on my mind.. actually didn't have a gd rest for few days.. isit just a false front? are things crumbling on me?

i need to strengthen my faith more, believe in myself more, believe i can do it.. and of cos GO ABOUT DOING IT

ok...

leg vs toilet bowl => 0 : 1

now my leg got a lump, was feeling pain didn't realise it till just...

hmm finally today passed, lab.. supposed to have viva, but well well qin zhen let us off for this "easy" d1 experiment for the "easier" f2 next week, but maybe it's the next..

lab so shiok, use the com to msn. tried to act smart so in e end the results, hmm ... volunteered to do results and calculation this time again.. maybe i shouldnt.. cos got "mai kao bei" diagram to draw if i not draw.. tt sucks. calculation is the bulk of today experiment again.. mean must read up :s.. next week f2 i not going to touch calculation though tat will be the main part. heck lar, did so much for the last few labs already..

well, after tmr it will be fri! yeah!

wow..

was listening to radio but car robbery in malaysian highway, 2 cars tried to rob the guy driving the mercedes in e end the mercedes wrote at 170 km/hr.. think next time the robbers want to rob cars, they need cars moving faster than that..

yeah yeah u think this post is full of typos? purposely one ok?.. nobody is perfect.. neither m i lalal

hmmm

2 days ago was 20th march, 2 mths ago that day was a special day. if u remember .. oink

1 mth later on that day also a special day..ya. start of exam.. :S

hmmm..

finally conquered the webcast.. 2 hr webcast and i spend like 4+ hr? aiyo today they saying a 2 hr webcast will spend 5 hr then i was like, no way, i will at most spend 4 hrs but well, efficiency is not fast again, actually it's not so gd if connection is fast, cos no buffer then i will increase the play speed but increase speed means i can't catch somethings then end up rewinding and it means spend more time; if i just keep at normal speed maybe i will finish faster...

feeling sth in my leg, shin area...ya. due to the hit on my shin tat time, ard 4 mths ago? tat time i was afraid got hairline fracture. well, i still think it's so, cos everytime i try to jog, there is the pressure there, eg that time taking ippt, can really feel it.. and it's back.. sometimes it happen on both legs, hmm.. my other leg becoming weaker? juts hope nth will happen, though i still must get my gold..

density...

can be changed, density is in ur own hands.. e only person who can help urself is urself.. the law of cause and effect will always hold..

OINK

i hate assignments!! waste of time.. haiz.. persevere on!

just now my fren shared with me an article.. hope to type it here some time soon. anyway there is this phrase, dun look at how far u have to go but how far u have come.. ya. i have come this far, did reasonally ok for midterm.. of cos doing well doesn't ensure anything, as i have come to know, but at least it's not the time to give up..

keep motivated. remain focussed. yes with u, i can do it..

so tired..

my day just begain..

woke up at 7 this morning .. with less than 5 hrs of slp.. went mh's house to make props for the meeting next week... realise i havent lost my artistic talent.. haha

and well reached home at ard 3, took a nap, woke up feeling so weak..

ya . my day of studying just began. hopefully i got high 领悟能力 and solve the questions quickly。。 star idol later, dunno if i shd watch.. shd i? oink

ok..

tt's it.. hmm i really can't conc well if i sign in to msn.

resolution: will not sign in to msn..

well unless someone come n OINK me..

ya. the resolution. stick to it..

hmmm..

really need to do my human revolution..

there are things that i try so hard to change, but with too much external factors, it aren't going to be easy, but i can't be defeated. those are the things i need to change n i must do it

when..

the evil pig meets the 坏猪。。

the mad fighting begins at the lame movie... ok it's called date movie

maybe nanny mcphee might be a better show, at least it's 15 min longer..

well at least the fight was fun =p

hmmm, didn't regret going for the daimokukai at nite, enriching experience.. hmm got a take home message which is "think in terms of what sensei will do if he's faced with the same situation" ...

finally done with the stupid lab calculation.. stupid h2 . so much calculations.. done single handedly :S.. well, spend more time than i thought.. hmm supposed to watch 2125 for thurs but i realise dun have the webcast!! -_-

time to slp...more to catch up

OINK...

haiz i better have better control over myself.. keep doing stupid things..

just now went to e planning meeting, hmm didn't say much things or contribute much, well maybe too tired ( ok, that's more of an excuse).. too much things on my mind...

slacking now is not an option

paiseh

too tired to write anything ..

ok i did write sth...

time to slp..

random blabbering..

by now, those nosey parkers shd have realised sth is missing. yeah yeah.. all i can say is.. thanks ah... u know who u are...

hmm, stupid nose block is irritating n making me tired. shall slp soon ba..

just now when he say" i m not going to do results n discussions ( for the lab tmr) i know he is going to be in this post.. yeah WHO ELSE. reason for not doing: cos test nv score full marks.. yeah brilliant reason. pissed me so much, i just ignored this other msgs..

received the letter from my unit.. shiok.. 5 days ict. going to spend 2 days on medic refresher course, and that means 2 days stay out ba.. and its 4+ finish.. how shiok can it get.. woot!! lalala

haiz, why some ppl are just so no life. yeah so wat ur results is a 1st class but u do nth but study? as my fren jason say b4, wan to get gd results, just study n mug whole day, 谁不会？its how u have many commitments yet u still can get gd results that's impt.. yup i agree with that... so wat if u can get gd results but when ask u join some activity yet say need to mug.. oh well...

sick

yeah more sick than yday... using 1 piece of tissue per 5 min? anyway by the advice of my personal doctor, it's time to slp.. 1st time in like 3 mths i will be slping b4 1am? *claps*

wat shd i write? hmm, webcast, yeah mr tan. arrgh his webcast. super waste of my time..but a test of my endurance n concentration.. =( actually wanted to write sth else.. but to put it slowly.

sorry for making someone lose sth impt.. partially my fault, though i can't stop those irritating external factors ya..

hope someone's pain will be gone by tmr.. tat's all for now.. alal

hmm..

this shall be a normal post.. no crap.. lalal

dunno why, i am only really a BIT more productive at nite.. hai. red alert....talking abt alerts, well i got a ops manning on the 1st week of april .. yucks

hmm lousy day today ba, after yday nite of stupid gaming.. had a very bad nite ba.. karma .. boohooo. woke up today feeling totally seh, feel like going back to slp but cannot lar.. cos i got entrance exam at 230pm. it's at srjc, didnt know its so far.. anyway i was slack.. cos the reporting time was supposedly 230, but my mum tell me 230 is reporting, exam will start only at 3pm so i dilly dally + bus so slow, reach at ard 3pm.. hmm think i m the last to enter the LT.. haha

anyway not a hard paper, all qns were in the study material qns? hmmm the essay qn only 20 marks while the other mcq etc 80.. really tempted to anyhow do for the essay since a pass is enuff. well in the end i still attempted...

hmmm, feeling feverish now. just now sore throat, now my head aching. eee just now came home at 5+ , b4 i went to nap, feeling hungry so ate my favourite crackers. everything came with a price.. so much for being a pig .. resulting in my current state.. sob sob.. ok time to oink!

haiz..

u are rite...

there is no forever..

when i thought things are going alrite..

when i thought i can depend on u forever....

when i thought...

haiz...

why?

when i thought i had chosen u

and i can depend on u...

when i thought things are going well..

why did u let me down?

my pen, arrgh =p

我好坏。。。

today i become 坏猪 again.. actually played two hrs of games..argh. somemore i going out tmr. oh no... better control. ok not like i playing alot at all, but obviously i duno how to control...

oink, yday walked so far, think it was at least 7 bus stops? haha..someone sooo scared.. b4 that still keep trying to scare me abt the red car, in e end it really appeared and the poor pig becomes so afraid lalala =p

hor so late liao...

later tmr can't wake up then... muhaha...

someone bully me today.. boohooo...

webcast, waste of time.. think i spend like 5 hr at least on that lecture? darn it.. old man dr tan talk so much .. realise i shdn't watch webcast just like tat, shd prepare 1st .. lala

oink oink..

hmm talk about wat leh... lots of things to do! lagging in webcast.. arrgh someone help me!! maybe some pig can help me =p

hopefully tmr will be a fruitful day.. yeah after 14 days, finally again! hor, will i scare the pig this time round? well.. .haha

hmm just saw sth from someone's blog, sth extracted from some chain mail..

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:I love you, Sorry and help me

hmmm the 1st n 3rd one maybe difficult but the middle one, well it's darn easy for me! lala..

another thing which is so true is "Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?"

well i believe i have to agree totally with that.. that's all for tonite.. need to slp.. oink

nice match...

haha gd that i stayed up to watch, exciting match... both sides got chance but well, arsenal won .. lalal.. sad for real madrid though cos, well, they shd deserve sth, but lehmann too on form liao.. haha can't blame..

hmm time to slp.. longer post tmr =p

need to buck up..

haiz.. behind my aim today, didn't managed to finish the webcast, arrgh prof tan talk so much during his lecture.. 1st time i see a 2hr lecture and he actually used 1hr 57 min??? not to say there is no break in between??? wat the heck.. talk so much till he got himself confused n contradict himself.. oh well..

was doing my assignment just now. thought wow finally i can do sth, only to realise i got strange, which's probably wrong ans.. haiz..

efficiency, where are u?

soccer tonite? hmmm

ya...

he managed to redemn himself by volunteering to print the lab report and well he did compile.. but towards the end, he talked too much and i had no choice but to... ya block him

If ..

u are in the middle of a slope, unsure of the path u should take..what will u do?

will u climb up and hope that everything will be alrite? or will u just take the easy path, turn up n slide down the slope?

maybe to say sth from my ygm skit of jeff who got kidney cancer. the script wrote sth like this "the success of the operation is 20%. if i go, i will have 20% chance of recovering. even if there is only 1% chance i will still go (for the operation), because if i dun i will have 0% chance of recovering."

i will climb the slope, even there is only 1% chance of victory, because if i dun, there will be no chance

sad news..

damn sad. now all i can say is pray that next sem i wun be in his group again. his nick already put he not going for sep.. was freaking pissed just now again.

tmd i really regretted unblocking him just now. once he start he just can't stop. the different parts are deseminated on sat. yet he only started doing TODAY. ok nvm, since many grps also start today. but must he keep asking me this asking me that? come on, i spend time doing my own part and u must disturb me for everything on ur part also. somemore the point is.. he say he going to copy .. well ok lor copy lor, tat's wat he do best anyway. well if copy liao then dun come ask me for everything!

somemore there is this part on vaccum pump he asking me, cos one of the sources wrote sth abt it. the source say there is large fluctuation in pressure. but i told him our experiment the error in P is only 1 mmPa. he ask me put or not. i told him no need care about other ppl. then he say "but i care" .. if u care then dun ask me so much things n dun listen lar!!!

hopefully a better post later..

hmm...

paiseh ah, dun blog dun blog, when blog then start to scold ppl.. lol..

haiz, really, somethings just aren't under ur control. which is really true. yup. eg when one might work hard for sth, but will one get e desired outcome? not necessary .. too many factors, external n internal. yup. .tat's why it's impt to pray for the gd fortune to have the correct factors at the correct time ... very gd huh

wah, read a very "impossible" testimonial in CL... too bad i dun have the time, else i sure type it out. anyway it's abt a soka member, got diabetes at 22 ba.. when he was going to recover, at 27, he was diagonised with 2nd stage liver cancer..(ok i think this is the guy whom our skit that time was based on) .. anyway it was going to 3rd stage and the doc say he going got 3 years to live. but in e end, he fought on, continued working, even have to travel overseas, while receiving treatment along e way. in e end, slowly but surely,his condition improved. Miracle, some may call it, cos the treatment is just supposed to slow down the cancer, not improve it. but slowly but surely he improved and finally recovered! the doc himself can't believe it. yup, instead of giving up, participating in activities such as the soka brass band, in chingay. hmm, in e end, he recovered completely from his diabetes. well i all along thought diabetes can be controlled but can't recover. anyway, it's not easy but i believe maybe this short testimonial can tell ppl that nth is impossible... "changing poison into medicine"

so one shd nv give up in life ba.. anyway just now finally finished watching the super lag webcast, cos it's running at 243kbit/sec, higher than the normal one. hmm efficiency is slow. i m still lagging, need to catch up. 2116 homework and lab reports are freaking waste of time.... entrance exam this sun, and 3 homeworks due next week.. hmmm.. i trying to maintain my high life condition but well, need to improve on my ability.

Persevere on... till the end.. and emerging victorious..

damn it..

dunno why i m n such a bad mood these days, paiseh, i might be scolding some not nice words in this post.. i normally dun blog nowadays in e afternoon but this time i m just too pissed.

who pissed me again? well WHO ELSE.. damn it

tmd, i have to see him for another 5 more weeks. wrong wrong. another 1 more sem.. omg. i really hope he go for his sep. i reall cant stand him. think i going to permanently block him on msn. damn it.

why the heck does he keep asking me questions? tmd not like i'm his classmates. doesn't he have other frends.. knn. tat day even better, at 3am or isit 4? he talk to me wan to tell me abt history of singapore.. wtf

anyway he doesn't even know the meaning of inferior. well done. inferior = better than.. ok i shdnt say him cos he is a malaysian, but well done he doesn't know the meaning he still go use. and as a result, the reason used for the lab question is as good as wrong thanks to a wrong word he used. oh well, i shd have read through it. haiz

but the ultimate thingy i can't stand is wat happen just now. knn. he ask me go geylang 1 nite how much. why he is going there? eh, obvious reason huh. then i was already pissed over his superior go write inferior. then he added" ur frends dunno ah?". i "???" him.. and he say "ur frends nv go there b4?"

BLOODY IDIOT..

can i..

overcome my obstacles, triumph over evil? sometimes things're really out of my control

control your mind.. not let ur mind control u...

my lab partner is really too much lar, tmd wan me to wait 4 hrs for him n expect me to go to his pgp dicussion room all for his convenience, i still nvm.. STILL WAN ME TO GO EARLY TO HELP HIM BOOK ROOM? wait long long lar

hmm..

when things dun go my way, u will wonder..why? to put it +vely, it's trying to find corrective measures for the problem, but on the -ve sense, doubts surfaced n u wonder why u are doing things in a certain way. in another 3 week time, things will hit top speed, no matter wat

goal vs ability, motivation vs distraction..

ouch..

eee just now hit my elbow on my book and hurt my nerve.. extra damage to the fall yday.. pig legs so short, how to fall down one.. oink!

so late liao.. lecture at 10 tmr, am i going? hmmm wake up at 8 = less than 5 hr slp = tmr concuss.. worth it? of cos not..but tmr return test.. sobsob.. hope the marker is super lenient!

why is my efficiency like shit.. feel so difficult to concentrate on webcast also..

SHE says "好人有好抱。"
我说"好猪有好抱"

It's March!!

yup.. a new month a new start... promises aren't meant to be broken, they are meant to be kept..

sorry for disappointing an understanding ger just now...disappointing's the word, not bullying..well u know the truth in, erm 1.5 years time! haha

To dare, to dream, to win

Friday, March 31, 2006

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